A little nonsense

Want to define the type of guys/girls you’re probably attracted to? Search no more. Facebook is here…

Take the test on http://www.brainfall.com

Here’s my result in any case…(Oooee Jake Gyllenhaal, I always knew it had to be you!)

It’s a tie!
	You would fall part for the sensitive guy. You’ll find your future man wherever turtlenecks are sold. He will have depth, introspection, and a disturbing knowledge of musical theatre. And he may be a little weird. But hey, while your girlfriends cry over broken hearts, you’ll be having Shakespeare read to you every night.
	You would fall part for the frat boy. You like to have a good time, and you want someone who’s not afraid to go all out to have fun with you. Your man may belch at the dinner table, but you know you’ll always have a crazy night ahead of you!

I’ll go with option A, thanks very much.

Closure

I spoke to him tonight.

In my confusion and loneliness, I needed somebody to reach out to. And he has always been there. He gets me. Understands me.

There was a part of me that wanted it to work out. And yet another part knew that it never would. But the part that said it could work cried out louder tonight.

He played me a song by John Mayer and told me that he thought of me when he heard it. And of the other guy.

I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, isle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.

Can’t remember, what went wrong last September
though i’m sure that you’d remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl i’m still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she’s gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives

She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she swears that she’s artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she’s perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can’t see the smile that she’s fakin’
and poses for pictures that are being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she’s perfect, so flawless
I’m not impressed, I want you back.

And then he said “that’s exactly how you feel.”

That is exactly how I feel.

“So what went wrong between you and me?” I ask.

And he says “I never felt like you were mine.”

To which I reply “You made me laugh. I’ve never had so much fun than when I was with you.”

But is it enough? We both know.

And he said “Be happy for me. Like I was for you.”

And I am.

I am.

The Ironies of Life

In my search for The One, I have grown and discovered things about myself and life.

And after all that has been said and done, I’m glad I took the risks, and lived to go beyond myself. Or I would never have known.

Let me expound.

 

I let go of Mr Pan who was safe because somewhere inside I had that niggling, itching feeling that perhaps there was more out there. Or maybe it was just in my head. I may not ever live to know because the moment has passed.

Only to meet Mr Potential, who then with me, felt that there could be more out there.

The sweet irony of life.

 

In Mr Potential, I’ve seen a reflection of me, and my past behaviour and thoughts. I understand that burning desire to find a connection with someone who utterly and completely gets you. Do we settle for the things that are good for us, or search for the people who make us feel alive and impassioned? Can the two ever really meet?

And in this messy clutter we call life, Mr Pan, through my actions of letting go of him, has found somebody who (according to Facebook) is 98% similar to him. Common interests – likes F1, basketball, the outdoors, Playstation. They hit it off and are on the verge of getting together.

And in my crazy dilemma of prying open Mr Potential and pushing him over to my friend, he might have found in her, somebody who is also (according to my mind) 98% similar to him. Common thoughts, expressions, desires. They will most likely hit it off and potentially get together.

 

So does that then leave me …with no happy ending?

Or a completely new beginning?

 

 

My thoughts go to Reese Witherspoon in that last shot of Cruel Intentions. She’s traveling on the highway in her old-school Porsche, wind in her hair, with no direction to the audience as to where she’s headed…except the open highway. The Verve’s Bitter Sweet Symphony comes on…

 

It leaves me with ideas of brighter days and doe-eyed anticipation for an unforeseeable future, of afternoons spent reading and talking with that special someone, whoever he may be, and walks in the park, and guitar strings being played in the background, and a future of endless possibilities and hopes, and dreams still untouched. It leaves me taking a skip and a hop into the unknown with a somewhat weary yet hopeful smile knowing I have become more than I was two months ago.

 

And the band plays on…